A Little Introspection…Ten Days in Solitary Confinement

I have to say, now that I am on the other side of the Vipassana Meditation course I can only wonder just what prompted me to so strongly insist that I take this ten-day spiritual boot-camp of sorts.  I really don’t know why. I’ve never really previously meditated and have to admit that I wasn’t entirely prepared for what I was getting myself into.

Begnas Lake, the setting for my Vipassana course and my view each day.

Some of the rules and restrictions of all Vipassana courses: you sign a contract stating you will stay for the whole course; noble silence means no spoken or non-verbal communication with anyone except the server and teacher, no reading and writing (I broke this one!) and then five other main precepts: no killing of any living creature, no lying, no stealing, no sexual activity, and no intoxicants.  Additionally, religious people are asked to suspend all practices such as prayers, mantras, and rituals.  Old students only get lemon water at the evening tea break – new students get a small dish of fruit, puffed rice, and milk tea (I had to request a special snack at 9:00pm for personal health reasons and they obliged and gave me milk and biscuits).
Our schedule for the ten days:
4:00am                           Wakeup Bell
4:30 – 6:30am                Meditation
6:30 – 8:00am                Breakfast
8:00 – 11:00am              Mediation
11:00 – 1:00pm              Lunch and teacher interviews
1:00 – 5:00pm                Meditation
5:00 – 6:00pm                Tea-break
6:00 – 7:00pm                Meditation
7:00 – 8:15pm                Video teachings with Goenka
8:15 – 9:00pm                Meditation
9:30pm                           Lights out
Here is my journaling for the 11 days of the course (10 days plus the arrival day!).  I cracked on day four so though this is a long post, that day is worth the read!:

Pre-Course: Arrival Day

I made it to the Vipassana Meditation Center outside of Pokhara. There was some drama with the cab driver in getting here— he wanted to charge us more than the agreed upon price—so Helen and I had to pull out some very firm tactics to make it to the Center on time!  We just had our orientation thingy in the front lawn. This is a truly beautiful spot on the lake… really spectacular! Anyhow, based on the orientation, this course is going to be INTENSE; I am kinda wigged out about it. 10 days sounded so short when I was pondering taking the course and now, with just 45 minutes until Noble Silence begins, the prospect is entirely and wholly scary.
There is so much that I just don’t know about yet. I know next to nothing about the actual teachings of the course… really only what I read in “Holy Cow: An Indian Adventure” and the brief bit on the website.  I also worry about the prospect of nearly 11 hours every day of thoughts just racing through my head.  I expect that in 10 days my mind is going to be in an entirely different place… for the good or the bad is the question!  I truly hope and believe that this course has the ability to bring about profound changes… I just wonder if I have the power to stick with it for the full 10 days… I’m down to 15 minutes left. YIKES!

DAY 1 – Oh the Endless Pain

9:20pm: Focus on the breath, the air coming in and out naturally of your nostrils – this was the sole task for today.  For 10 hours and 45 minutes today I focused as much as my attention as possible on by nostrils…but I have to be honest, not a lot of focus was actually making to the nostrils for long.  There was a lot of traffic going on in my mind – traffic jams, semis coming through – a lot of thoughts just running around in there…I think I made it back to the breath about every 2-3 minutes…then I’m focused for a whole three breaths and off again.
Today’s discovery: my left nostril is working overtime and doing most of the work.  The right nostril must be on vacation today because it was only taking in about 20 percent of the breath—what is that about!  Another discovery: Nepali songs are annoyingly catchy.  Though I was determined to keep the trekking songs out of my head Chati Ma Mero was echoing through my mind for hours.
One of the best moments of today was pretty brilliant.  Near the end of the day the teacher called everyone up in small groups of 2-4 people so they could ask questions.  When it’s my turn I tell him “I can’t stop falling asleep…what do I do?!”  His response: “Yes, you are rather fond of sleep aren’t you?”  Nice! I thought maybe I was getting away with it… although we sit crossed legged in meditation pose my head was doing that jerky head-bobby thing for many hours of the day as I fought to stay awake.  He tells me to focus harder…hmm.
Oh! Eleven hours of sitting on a cushion on the floor—not pleasant. I was shifting every 4 – 5 minutes! An up note, the food is really good!